Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Movin' On Up

I get weird mailings from time to time, as I’m sure you do. There are credit card offers and catalogues and book clubs and loans. Sometimes I can even tell the genesis of the offer. About 10 years ago I had a gasoline credit card. For some reason, when they processed my application, they wrote my name weird. Even today, sometimes I get offers that have that particular spelling of my first name which tells me they got my name off of a mailing list that has been sold over and over and over in the past 10 years. A little scary, I know.

I don’t always know where the offers come from however. In my mother’s case, she started getting catalogues and suddenly she was buried beneath an avalanche of catalogues. My stepfather would occasionally send in the cavalry to rescue her. She started a campaign to get off the catalogue listings of these hundreds of catalogues. It’s taken years and countless hours of letters and web sites and, although she can never let down her guard, she is managing to live a fairly normal life.

I’ve never had the catalogue thing (evidently it’s not inherited) but I think I’m moving in a positive direction with the mailing I got today.

It’s a “special invitation” to “experience The Phillips Club, the smart way to own a luxurious second home in Manhattan.” They let me know that they have “set aside an elegant Club residence for you at a special preview rate of only $400 per night.” Of course the effect is somewhat lessened by their need to inform me that this is a $700 value.

The elegantly prepared brochure continues by telling me that “The Phillips Club on Lincoln Square combines the advantages of home ownership with the amenities, services and convenience of a fine hotel.” Evidently, at The Phillips Club I’ll be much more than a guest…I’ll be home.

You’ll be happy to know that this is the “Sensible way to own the very best.” My Club home is available (ownership starts at $200,000) whenever I like and as often as I like, subject only to a flexible and generous reservation policy.

That’s gotta be better than the Billy Joe Jim Bob’s Mail Order Heaven catalogue.

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